It happen last week

Salam,
Sorry not updating, feeling not very well after the situation asking my fren money from one chinese at MERU klang. God damn it , he got the money, but didnt finish the job. Makes me hot. Yeah, I got him badly injured. Hahaha...satisfaction, now he knew who is AshRul.
To my girl, how r u? Hope u're very fine and happy. Happy wit the new one. By the way, how's ur new life, still won't contact me? Its ok, I know who I am, not at same level with u and ur new 'dog'..ooppss...boy.
Nothing to say, I just missing u much. Just missing all the place we went before. Now I'm in front of Quality hotel, got sumting to do. I got bussiness to do here. Be happy my dear, as long u happy, I dun care about other thing...

Take Care....

Damn hurt.

Give me time

Salam.
I know both of u can read my blog. I still can't accept dis thing. It unacceptable. She said she love truly from her heart. Dats y I become crazy like dis. Just give me some time to cool down.
Sorry to my dear Fatin, U know my temper level. So U should understand why I become like dis....To him, If u truly want her, marrying her. Pls do take care of her, if u failed, I'll look for U. I'll take care of u (means him).
Sorry....I'll try cooloing down..Dont know why I got tempered easily.
Give me time....Sorry....
Sorry... :(

Cant talk?

Salam
U've no point anymore? cannot speak at all? Its ok, u shown the truth of u. Its ok, becoz u did dis before we engage or married. Thank coz "luv" all this time. I'll remember it, as u love me truly from ur heart. I'll remember all of our memories. I love u more than my life. U luv me based on ur benefit. Now I'm not benefiting u anymore, and u sack me out of ur life, thanks a lot. Now he hold ur hand, tomoro he have ur body. I know u happy, just like I said, If u have him, u can celebrate with, have a flower, a present. Not like couple wit me, have no opportunity to celebrate together. I'm sorry, cant give u that type of life.
**** In the end, I'm choosing the wrong decision, u fooled me. I just believe dat U're a nice fantastic girl I ever had. I'm wrong...and I'm sorry....
Sorryyy my dear....

Shit!!!!

Damn!!!
What the fuck are u doing girl? Hah....God Damn It...Until this level u did to me? WTF!!!
U give ur phone num to that shit, make me burn. Now I know why U're not answering my call. I thought u just dun want to answer my call, but....U give that number to him. Perak boy, the number also start from 5, mean Perak area. Damn..it since the first day u in UiTM Kedah.
Why u change ur number? Is it wrong for me to call u? Is it wrong huh?!!!!! Just now I call him and talk to him. He fucking refuse to talk...why..damn scared? He said, "Camni de, sknk nie wa bkn takot ilang die, die mmg wa da dapat de, sknk ni kite settle baik, lu wat lu, wa wat hal wa...ok?"
Read it carefully, he's not scared of losing u, Afik, u're Mother fucker of hell. Fatin u read it ,"wa tak takut ilang die". Is ur future fiancee like dis? From dis statement, I hope u can evaluate him...I hope so, dunno wat he give U until u become blind like dis fucking shit hell.
I watched 'khurafat' yesterday, at BUKIT RAJA JUSCO, and I saw a sit, where I first meet U. Where I meet u as a friend. A few month later, we couple, and after u came back from JB, I've put all my trust to u. I should not did that. Thats my fault, why I trust u. Once I said, what if I "curang". U did said!!!!!!!! , "U wont's syg, if I see u with other girl, like a couple, I straightly go to u, so dat u can see me, and then I will "fucking" other man, coz I'm mad to u....." By this statement, I put all my luv to u. Why u keep cheating????!!!!
Afik kanina MCH said I dun care about U. Does he knew me? Does he knew what I've done for u? I suffer in Saudi, did he know dat? I work in SAMSUNG becoz here got OT, did he know why I want that OT? Why u said I dont know u? He knew u well huh...? Ok...ask him to meet me!!! Or else...U and him will see me overthere. U choose, the choice at ur hands.
Last time when u answered my call, U said U in no mood to go to class after read my blog, if U dun luv me any more, why u feel like dat, U still hv feeling for and u denying it. Come back to me my dear. U said how can U come back to me with dis kind of behavior of mine. Now I said!!!! U comeback first to me, then I'll be the old ASH and changing time by time.

Why u become like dis? Why? I keep u as my pride and I still put U at higher level. I love u more than my life. Why...If u not calling me in this week. Sumting will happen...Dont say " sy ckp je lebey, tapi x buat", do not challenging me, I'm not the old boy.
I'm sorry...U hate me, I cant change it.. Just remember u also have no fucking damn power to change the new me!!!!!!

ALLAH MaHA ADIL..

The second day

Its the second day of ur besday. Hmm..not picking up my call...god damn it. U said I went to Saudi not because of u, u said becoz of money. Damn, dat money is for u. I want to use it for our ceremony. Its 3000 miles from Malaysia, I suffer overthere, mental and physical. Then now U left me just becoz of call n msj is not reach the level u expecting for. I work for SAMSUNG coz here got overtime. So I can save more money, since u got another +- 2 years of study.
U said I dont understand u? Is Afik understand u? Is he know what I feel. Is he ever say sorry to me? Ok...I know u from Klang, I know how hard to take U out, how to "bawak awk kuar diam2". Do u think I like that, bring u out like that? What will people said if sumone see us like that. What if we kantoi, then ur brother belasah aku cukup2.?
He know u from UiTM, easy to hang out, easy for everything. It EASY!!!!! not like me in Klang. Just becoz less of mcj and call...u fuck me up!!!! Why, just come back to me, I know u can do dat. If possible both of u must meet me...before I enter ur classroom to meet both of u. Dun let me do that.
A friend of mine from Spain, working together wit me in Saudi, also feel sorry for and advise me just let u go. Yes...but I want to meet that bloody hell boy, Kalau die mampus lagi bagus.
Fuck la...stop smoking....do u know he keep smoking or not, u want a picture of him smoking? I can show u. Being hit by car for u? Is it make u feel 'touching" ker? Wey....I went to Saudi by plane, means, if the plane "jahanam" and going down, I'll be under the 'lautan Hindi" taw...Not enough for u? If u comeback for holiday, how many times I see u for a date? how many times...?
Yes, he got sumting I dun have, U're not materialistic, I know, but people change,U changed. U fuck my truly luv to u. All my saving just 4 u. For us to married and have happy family. All what I've done,is just for u, for U!!!!!
From what u said to me, it more to his stability of life. Yes, more secure la, bapak punye company maa....
U said u just test a relationship wit him, now u said that? What the hell? Last time u busy to engaged or watever, go ahead la, he's not serious la, he to young, he's FUCK!!!! Dun believe me? The time will come.

And dun forget to ask who is his couple last sem.....law student...

What should I think of U

Salam
By the subject mention above, wat do u think. U said I dun noe u. U said dat? U said b4 dat, pls accepting u as wat u are. Do I complain anything about u? Do I? Is dat not enough. I know u!!! Dats y I want to change and u said its too late. In Saudi I ym u everyday, what if I'm not? U go to the other man?. Why it so easy for u to love sumone. U're my love after 4 years of being single. Means dat my last couple was when I was 20 years old. That means its not easy to give sumone my luv. I'm serious wit u, why u did this? I know, there's me in your heart. There's still got a space for me, u just deny it. I know u not a materialistic girl, but I've to say like dat, to cool my feeling. I really miss u, dats I call u. There's a present for U for your birthday.
Is it need to keep kol n msj everyday. If I'm not messaging u, y not u start it first. Once I msj u, u said no credit, then I ask u to top-up, u said no money and will top-up maybe after 1-2 weeks. Did I complain? Now who not understand the situation? U the one not understand me. U know what I did 4 u? Do u know what i did for our love? Do u know why I luv u? If u knew, pls mail me what is it. All the bad statement is just to "sedapkan hati". Just go on wit ur new luv, I knw that I can't changed anything excepting u change it.
Just be happy, as long u happy, I'll be happy. I'm feeling not very well, since u're gone, I always get sick. If afiq playing wit ur heart, dun blame me if he's being O*U. Thanks kerana pernah menyayangi sy. Tak pernah ade org syg sy macam awk syg sy. Tapi itu hanya sejarah......

Happy birthday 23

Salam.
Happy birthday to u. Its ur 23 birthday celebration, and it must be cool and happy coz u can celebrate it wit ur "luv". If u couple wit me, u can't celebrate wit me. Good choice in selecting bf in the same class and very near to u.
I really hope u can finish wit him, hope u choose the right person. There no mata-mata. I am 28 years old, an engineer, UiTM graduate. I got friend from all level and status. Engineer, lecturer, operator, non-working person, student and etc. I got a lot of friend, they see u. They told me everything. I didnt pay anyone. I asking u to pickup my call and k.i.t wit me,but u refuse to do so. So that, I ask them, how u r overthere.
If I want to give u problem, u should know wat I got, wat I know about u. Two and half years u evaluating my luv just base on sms and call. U dont know how I'm suffering. I can do anything....I'm the man....
BTW...thanks for ur 2.5 years of luv. If we married and I can't contact u for a while, maybe u asking a divorce. Maybe U got sumone else wit the status bini org. God showed me who u r, and I'm wrong in evaluating u.
Thanks for showing the truth of urself Fatin Syazwani bt Ismail.

The eyes..

Salam
Now u updating....gud, and thanks. Now u hate me, u said "jurang semakin dalam". Is that mean u hate me too much. Why? Am I did sumting wrong my dear. All my fault is trusting u, believing all ur promise, giving all my luv to u. Thats my main fault.
What the people said overthere? Is the any gossip? Just go on wit ur new luv. I want to see if u success wit dat fucking boy. U want get engaged, go ahead, I wont stop u. After ur birthday, I'll stop chasing u. There no spy or anything. I got my line in Sg petani. I got a lot of friend.

Thanks for fucking lying to me.

Money

Salam to all
The money...I'm not a rich person my dear. U left me, I'm not paying anyone ok. I'm not that rich to pay anyone. I told u, but dun believe me. I know everything, but deny it. Why? I just show u wat can I do. My dear, just go on wit ur new happy life, let me be like this. I miss u very much, I know u hate me. I know I cant make u love me again. Its ok, u know me, dun worry, I wont do anything stupid to U. I love u, u're my pride. U my true love, I did everything for u.
U did dis to me. Yes, its true, I'm getting hot, I'm angry. One night I sat down, and thinking of u. Even u did this shit to me, but U teach me the meaning of luv. I never luv sumone more than u. If u think he's better, u deserve a better man. I'm sorry for my behavior, like u said " less call and mcj". I become "gila duit" in SAMSUNG. I'm wrong, I dun appreciate u like u want. Just keep in your mind, my luv is not evaluated by the msj and phone call. Its because everything I did, just for u. U're my main target, I work for u, I went to Saudi is for u.
I'm not paying anyone syg, dun accuse me like that, even though u hate like shit.

I'm sorry about what happened...:(

Langsi...

"Diam.Ada yang berkata.Buat.Ada yang tak kena.Aku adalah aku.Aku bukan orang lain.Hidup seperti roda.Ada atas dan ada bawah.Aku bukan pembunuh.Jadi jangan jadikan aku seorang pembunuh."

A quote from him. That boy wanna be a murderer huh? Is it a joke, Come'on. U never want to meet me, u wont pick up my call. U not replying my mcj. Wat the fuck are u.? Wanna be a murderer but not strong enough to meet me. Meet me, I'll show u how to be a man. Pls dont be a big mouth person ok. This is what I said, not matured. Talking big, but nothing, bullshit. Live with the money from family. Hell u. Please la, u did sumting wrong, now u think u are dat gud huh. Oi, meet me la, then u know wit who u dealing wit. I'm not scared of death. Or u just like to be a poser. Pose with father car, wit father money, wit sumone girl. So do u think u gud enough? I'm ok wit Sg Petani resident. Dont be too confident wit the area u not expert enough.
It almost one month from the date u promise me....just confirm, we talk man to man...

Are u dare enough...?

Please my dear

Salam;
Hope u're fine my dear. Dunno whether u open my blog or not. I'm not going to stress u up. Pls mcj me, if u read dis blog, got sumting to tell and ask u. What do u want 4 ur birthday? I just hope, if one day u're done wit him, pls do come back to me. Until today, I still remember u, please give me a chance, please dun forget me. I know its hard 4 u to forget me. Same wit me my dear.

I dunno whether he gonnaa serious wit u or not. But remember, dun give "dat" thing to him. Please, I just not sure is he luv u or "luv" u. I know u and him always bergayut, yes. I know my fault, forgive, dats only thing I'm asking for. I miss u very much. Please give me a chance.
Please, I'm sorry if u think I'm neglecting u, I'm sorry...wat should I do to get u back...cut myself as u did b4..?

Please..

Pray for me ....

New FB

Hi Ms Fatin...U got new fb huh, not informing me? Why? U need my fb, and u not informing me ur FB. Uask me not to delete anything, but hbu? Why u did dis? I told u before, I know everything. And I can get to know everything about and that damn boy. I told u dis thing would not be easy for both of u except u engaged and married. The time will come my dear....I know, u got a new boy, a new happy life. Of course la happy life, last sem he coupled wit sumone from law faculty. Did u know dat? I hope so..
A new life, got couple for stadi, got sumone near to u, got sumone to pick u up, to buy you things. Futhermore, he got big car; WAJA rite, not like me, only WIRA, gegar kuat lak tu. Working as Engineer but use WIRA only, second hand lak tu. Must be shame rite. Yup, I realise dat now. Plus, I working as Engineer, but not for my company, but he got company(coming soon la, His father company, yes...more money...more secure future.

No wonder can be engaged a.s.a.p.
I still don't believe dis. I don believe u did dis. I trust u 200% and u betrayed it. If u feel guilty, u should feel it, becoz u betray me, u betray my holy luv, u betraying all my luv 2 u. I'm trying to give a lot of luv of a man can give since u always told me about ur family problem and u're anak YATIM. But sumtime "WE CAN'T HAVE WAT WE WANT IN THIS WORLD" but we can fight for it. U said u give me chance b4, but u dunno when.

U now got new name huh...ATEEN ***. U already put his nick as ur name also. Very nice to hear, fuck up, but, the time will come.

Wish me best of luck, tomoro got sum assigment. As long I still wrote in this blog, means I still in this good health condition.

Thans fatin coz make me like dis

FATIN......Why..

Kau gadis ku yang cantik
Cuba lihat aku disini
Disini ade aku yang cinta padamu.
kau gadisku yang manis
Cuba lihat aku disini
Disini ade aku yang sayang padamu
Walau ku tahu,
Bahawa dirimu sudah ada yang punya,
Namun akan ku tunggu hingga kau mahu,
Jangan...jangan kau menolak cintaku,
Jangan...jangan kau ragukan hatiku
Ku kan setia menunggu,
Untuk jadi pacarmu.
Jangan...jangan kau tak terima cintaku,
Jangan...jangan kau hiraukan pacarmu
Putuskan la saja pacarmu,
Lalu bilang I LOVE U,
Padaku....

To "her", this song is like from Afiq to me...the lyric is exactly same wit what he did to me..and u...

One month

Its one month. The date that she broke all her promise to me. I still remember the day at genting, dunno y she did this. I dunno, whether she's fault or dat boy, or...is it my fault..? My fault for giving u all my lurve and my heart. Is it my fault trusting u 100%. Is it my fault of taking care of U. Is it my fault keeping defending U. I dunno, possibly yes is the answer.

Thanks syg, did me like this. Thanks for betraying me.........

http://itsmyninedecember2010.blogspot.com

Still

Today, lost 2-0 to CJ team. Damn. but she wish me luck. I feel gud, but, i received the mcj after game finish. Huhuhu...she enjoyed overthere? is she? I dont think so. Last news, she quite bz, but its ok, maybe dat boy help him a lot, not like me...useless, loser. I'm getting lost now. Dunno wat happen to me...
To much problem. I lost my focus in everything I do. Should I accept the new offer? Which means I'll totally leave every memories in my beloved MALAYSIA. I really hope I can throw U away, but I can't. Please give a chance. I dunno wat I should do to get U back to me. I have no idea anymore. What advantage he got. Please let me know. If U want get engaged wit him, just go ahead, I'll ask him about dis. I dunno "wat" he use to get U from me. I dunno y U can leave just for sumone U know 4 3 months. Y u leave me 4 sumone dat hypocrite, sumone dat taking advantage of others. Y u can't see dat....?
Thats y I am too angry, U belong to sumone, then y, he did this. Then U backing him up, not backing me. I'm fighting when sumone talking bad about u. Till today, watever I do, I thinking of u. I dont sumone can take ur place i my heart. Pls do pick up my call. I'm missing u alot.....

Please..I'm sorry....I'm sorry....I'm sorry....I'm sorry....I'm sorry....I'm sorry....I'm sorry....

Sorry..

08 Jan 2011
4:33 am
Just come back from Wangsa Maju, KL. Got 'game' tonite. Jst hang around, just a help from my buddies to get 'her' from my mind. The result is, FAILED. The federal highway remind me to her, the couple I saw at KL remind me dating her, When I eat at restaurant and saw acouple, dats reminds me to her. Damnn...
Please understand me, just one more chance, I'm going there not to fight, but just to meet U and dat boy. Just wanna explaination from him, just want my right. Yes I did U wrong. I not appreciate (am I?) u, as u said to me, but dats is wrong, dats y I still fight for our relationship. I can't live without U. I tried to accept wat happen between us, but I failed, due to my hardcore LOVE to U. How can U forget just like dat. Last meet U said I must get knowing AFIK, so, I'm going there to learn and knowing him. What's his character, wat he is, wat he want, why he did dis?
I called U not arguing anymore, pls pick up. I really hope U pick up the call.


I'm sorry...I know I'm not the perfect man for U, but give a chance and let me learn from 'my mistake'.

:(

Still hoping...

6 Jan 2011
00:00 am
Nothing much, still hoping to have her back. fatin, pls do understand me, dunno wat should I do anymore. Just marry him, then U'll see me stop. Y u can't give just one chance...Plz..
Y u wont pick up my call. I just want to know your news, I never talk about the past. Yesterday U the one want to talk about it. Pls syg...I'm hurt...


:(

Engaged?

5 Jan 2010
23:29


Mentioning engaged, U said, am I ok and stop of everything if U engaged wit him. God dmn it, r u blind or too stupid? U said U knew him well. My cyg, I never imagine ur answer, I've ask u before, for your hand. You refuse wit a reason, afraid line is not clear wit ur abang.

Do u know dat u blow my heart. I never think u can say sumting like that. U break my heart into pieces. Y u dont want to pick up the phone, y not reply my mcj. last time u told me, its coz by afiq (lahanat). He must resposible to all thing he did. If he's not cucuk line, its ok....Now U declare dat U not loving me anymore, we can't be together. Its ok, I wont force U, I just want meet U n seat togehter. Its better if lahanat tu ade.

Now I want my prode back, He did it bangsat way, I pay him the bangsat way. He ask me to do dat. U know I loving U more than anything in this world. Now, wit the power I got, I'll meet 2 of U in Uitm. I want U to know that I will do anything to have back. If i want to hit him, I can, anytime, but I promised to U dat I wont do dat. I ask u to list up all the weaknesses I have, and all the problem in our relationship. He'll pay all the tears. I don't people interfere in our relationship, I dun like people that hypocrite

Sayang, U know, we can stat again, I love U...I just tooo sleepy, too tired...I'll mcj u tomoro. Take care of ur health. 134

No answer..

4 Jan 2010
Still have no answer when I called. She keep avoiding me, dunno y...from the lst info I got, just because that motherfucker ask her no to. Damn...I'll come to u my dear, I'll take U back from him. He's not for U, coz u're mine.
U told me before, that sumtimes U cried,after calling me, U run around the field cos tension wit me. U did sumting, if I'm not mistaken, U cut ur self. All of this U did cos U tension wit me, but do U tell me about it, about u cried, about U run the field, about U cut urself. Yes my dear, U didn't, if u told me, I'll go to u on the spot. Its not sweet talker over here. It's me...the one dat love u.
Y u not complained it to me, straightly talk to me. Y u blame me, without give me the opportunity to fix it. Please my dear, dun let me drowned. Let me have ur heart, I know there's still a place for me in your heart. Please, I can't bear this 'malapetaka' sayang.
Just keep in your mind, I'm the way U knew me at our first date, and until now I'm the same person. I'm rarely mcj and called u but we still together for almost 3 years. Coz that time U not studying, U're not influenced by "sumone". Don't let sumting stupid thing like dis happen between us. Jaja nazar broke wit his boy, with statement "I ceraikan die". What the hell is that, r u gud enough? I believe u're not like that. I want u to stop keep in touch wit him, if u not keep in touch wit him, then u're not remembering him, might be then u open back ur heart for me. I'm sorry sayang, I can't let dis thing just end like that. I'll see u this saturday or sunday, just to meet u, my gf.

His word; "Hey. Don't ever let somebody tell you.You can't do something.You got a dream.You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it." . By this word I official announce to Afik, better U read this, step on my dead body, if u want Fatin. I need a table talk wit U, its better if FATIN join together....

Afik...lu main bangsat, gua bg lu jadi bangsat...

Dislocate

3rd January 2011
Dislocated finger bone due to my 'new assignment'. Feel good, get the assignment at the right time. Dunno how many times I called to ask her news. Huh...damn!!! She hate me? No, she's not. Hahahha...I'm writing here just to let u know about what I'm doing. Where I go. My daily activity is in another blog.

If u want the address, hit me on ym or email. I miss u damn much. Yes, I am. Just give your news, latest health condition or anything. I worried about u, pls do understand me. I try to keep myself bz, but I failed to do so. Hmm..dunno wat to write, just dont get close with him, I know wat u do overthere. Dont judge me by 2 years of our relationship. U never know my darkside, I'm changing just because of u. Now I'm going back to my old days, not because of u (just minor), but because dat boy. If he's not there, if he's truly want to be ur best friend, if he's honest, this thing wouldn't happen. I know u still love me, still wait for my call. Tts ok if u wont pick up but that bastard also wont pick up. If I called him again, and he's not picking up, I'll break his nose, in ur classroom. So ask him to pick up my call, coz I want to tell him, not to disturb u anymore!!!!

The new birth.

2nd January 2011
"Hepi besday" received at 1.30 am. Dunno whether she send it to the wrong number or to me, cos there's no name at the end of the statement. That fucker also have the same birth date wit me. I replied it, and there's no reply, dats y I guess she send the wrong mcj to the wrong guy. Celebrating it alone, watching "Damping Malam", but she's always in my mind, I just keep looking to the seat we book at our last muvi.

Feel damn good receiving dat "hepi besday", suddenly her smile and everything good fucking nice memories flashing back in my modulaoblongata. Stopping by at the highway, the tears come out, y it end like dis. Damn fuck. Y I keep thinking about her, y I keep take care about her, y I keep calling her. Y I crying for this relationship. WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!. Maybe u can forget all our memories, I said MAYBE!!!
But for me, its damn fucking hard!!! Wherever I go, I always see u. Cinema, Mall, restaurant and bla..bla...How can I forget u.!!!..

But u choose dis way, and say sorry. Now at 28 yr old, I've decided to be sumone bad, cos I know u hate bad guy. I'm sorry if I neglecting u, but for real...I'm not, sayang. U can fix it, but u refuse to do so. Its ok then, coz I'll work out sumting, U're priceless to me, I can't hate U. Dats for real. I dunno the real thing happen between U and Nazri, but from wat I know, I'm get U by proper way, not "RAMPAS". The only thing I can imagine is dat U want a life of a student. Normal student couple, U can go anywhere together, no commitment to work, no problem, can hv a study group together, lunch together, dinner together, everything that U that I FAILED to give to U!!!!

Last time U mcj me that "cian a.z". Why cian to him, then no explaination. Then MAYBE U will blame in the future. I've tried hanging out and date other girl, but what happen? I told her about U, the way U are, ur character and everything. Damn..how U can say dat I'll forget U in short time. Fuck it....

Still feel bad with wat happened...